Avery Post

From Kind to Kindest


Superlatives: Most of my life I have resisted superlatives such as ‘Greatest’ ‘Totally awesome’ and ‘Fann-tastic! (said with enthusiasm)

So inevitably in my closing salutation for emails I was comfortable with ‘Kind Regards’. Kind of tepid isn’t it?

While working with my web designer last year, who is a great, awesome, fantastic person – in words and in actions, she asked me why I don’t use “Kindest Regards”. That got me to thinking.

Life Lessons/Obstacles: One of the thoughts that came up was – “I don’t want to overdo it” which comes from childhood messages of “…don’t get your hopes up you are bound to be disappointed”.

Another was “Am I the kindest?” This comes from feedback from others over the years that were hurt by my words. Underlying those is a fleeting fear – what if I don’t measure up? Which then begs the question as a counselor - should I always be kind?

Just do it: Despite my hesitations I decided to try it. So for the past 6 months I sign off with Kindest Regards. I type it in, rather than load it automatically as it is my genuine intention to continuously wish the best of everyone.

At first it almost felt silly (who do you think you are anyway is that old negative critical voice).

Now it brings a smile to my face and I feel better. To test this you can say to someone nearby “Have a good day.” Then try “Have a great day.” Do you notice a difference for yourself and/or for them?

So why am I telling you about this?

Process: What I have been doing is engaging in mindfulness awareness practice. It is important to set our good intentions. If nothing is ventured, nothing is gained. I was also willing to tune into my moment to moment thoughts and feelings so that I could explore my obstacles and meanings. Once I could identify those I was able to examine my assumptions. When I see them clearly they lose their secret power over me.

Results: The end result is that when I consciously engage in the practice of genuinely holding people in kindest regards what I experience is a spark of joy because it reflects back at me.

I hope you have a GREAT day too!

©Averycounselling.com

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