Assertiveness

You can't always get what you want... The Rolling Stones

How I work to help you achieve Assertiveness

There are many barriers to getting what you want, some of which you can change, and some that are not within your control.  I will help you to recognize the difference and learn the skills you need to effectively communicate your desires and requests to people you can influence.  We can explore what gets in the way and practice new ways of making requests using talk, art or role-playing.  

About Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the ability to get what you reasonably want without having to resort to manipulation, anger, pleading or begging.  By being clear on what you want, and acting respectfully towards yourself and others, it becomes easier to negotiate for what you want and create win-win situations.  Just a few of the many beliefs that get in the way of assertiveness are:

• I don't deserve to get what I want, 

• If I have to ask for it, it has lost its value, and/or

• Asking for what I want means I am selfish.

Assertiveness is not aggressiveness.  It requires clarity of purpose and point of view.  As in all transactions, it is only effective if each person is willing to be influenced by the other.  The costs of not being assertive can lead to physical, emotional, and social difficulties.